The Black Man’s Burrito

Well Thomas is questioning me but I’m going with the correct term for this instance, black man, and to ruin the story, the white boy took the burrito, typical.

So the kid went out with his friend and this fellow named ‘Zippy’. This name, which in no way describes his pace, but rather acquired from a ultra stoned Canadian filling in for a fill in as a radio DJ. After clarifying on the phone, a song request and shout out, Canadian dude finds he could not read his own writing and fires the request out to Zippy. It’s sad to say a lot of Canadians are like that. I don’t mean high all the time, stupid, that’s what I’m saying. This isn’t to say the rest of you are any the wiser.

The three boys headed to a huge block buster of a book store that was closing down. Now maybe Australians don’t do a whole lot of reading, but I know they love buying things for no reason (just like Americans), but it was no wonder, most the store was filled with shit books. The kid tried to buy three books, I convinced him to put them back. How rash the discussion making skills of a starving boy, thankfully he still listens to the ol' Teacozy, even in moments of starvation.

So after that tortuous experience, Mexican food, where the boy ordered a quesadilla rolled like a burrito. Now keep in mind this place works much like a subway, where “fresh” ingredients lay front facing and you request your ingredient to a basic extent. After watching his quesadilla get ushered away to the fryer, he shuffle left (because everything here is opposite) to the end of the counter, where he selected the most interesting man’s beer and paid.

After I harassed the new girl who failed several times to process the order, the boy grabbed the wrapped food item that just moments earlier was put down next to the till, but further from his reach. I tried to mention it probably wasn’t his but at this point he was far too hungry to listen to even me, let alone notice the large black man who had ordered right after him. Sitting with his open beer, he unwrapped the unique creation that he had ordered. Cam managed to observe its similarity to the other orders.

So as he dove into the black man’s burrito absent to noticing it was merely a beef and bean burrito, with no vegetables and spicy as hell. I watched the girl who had made his quesadilla wrap walk over and I couldn’t help but laugh (as we teacozy’s do). It was only moments before whitie or as Cam calls him slim (thanks to a barista that assumed he didn’t want mayo in his sandwich, which happened to be correct, but then assumed he wanted slim milk in his latte, because well if you hadn’t notice the boy isn’t terribly fat, she reassured herself he wanted this by stating “slim” after he ordered [not even in a questioning manner, but more as a statement]). Moments later the look on Tom’s Face was priceless, with a mouth full of black mans burrito, face wide with shock. He knew now what he had done, but to his surprise she handed him the wrap stating she would otherwise have to throw it out. Score he thought, “lunch tomorrow, for free!!!”.

Well, we all learnt, whether you say African American or as I like to say, Black Man in Australia’s Spicy ass Burrito will make you suffer greatly the next day, several times.