How We Do

I know you’re wondering how the kid’s doing, I get it, a tea cozy isn’t that interesting, but I’m working on it, I mean come on the kid’s not that fantastic. I’m Teacozy, I’m hot shit, can’t you see that, damn it. The kid’s fine, doing just fine, well apparently he wants to be addressed by name, Tom’ doing just jiffy, I’m sorry its Thomas not Tom, get it right Aussies. Thomas is a bundle of fucking joy as usual, yeah there.

Now back to me, I’m funny too, I heard some beings talking in the park earlier; they said some funny stories, let me pass on a few of my favorite quotes from some conversations, maybe you will get a laugh too. “There he is with the wheel barrow and her lagging behind with a fag in her hand”, yeah I got a kick out of that one. Another there where two hippies walking together and the girl “I can tolerate him kicking the cat, but I don’t like it.” Okay so maybe you had to be there. Thomas is saying I’m crazy and you won’t find that funny.

So onto more pressing matters, I suppose you're wondering what my big plan is, well mainly it is top secret, work in progress, so I can’t tell you otherwise it wouldn’t be top secret, do you get it, probably not, you stupid beings. But here’s a basic low down, mind you may not understand. I’ll put it simply for the stupid. The world around you, well you’ve kinda fucked things up and well to be frank shits falling apart around you. Sorry you didn't get that, because I can see you’re not doing a damn thing about it. So maybe you see where I’m going with this. You’re too stupid to have changed yourself and I see you (and grand) haven’t taught your children what to do in case of an emergency crash landing. So maybe you see, someone has to do it because, well I’m seeing how long fixing your shit fuck ups is going to take and well I'm seeing the future, your fecal matter is hitting the fan.

Teacozy Out.